An action performed or a feeling experienced in response to a situation or event.
The feeling you experience in response to an undesirable situation or event is unavoidable. On the other hand, the action you perform in response is another thing entirely.
I used to be the king of reacting, specifically before giving any thought to the circumstances. I’d say the first thing that came to my mind, with no diligence to my dilemma. It usually ended with my point being lost in translation, obscured by the passion in my words. My intentions were never to attack anyone, nor was I deliberately trying to hurt them. I’d talk in circles, often appearing defensive when I was feeling everything but.
Uncomfortable situations are usually unpredictable, we have no control over outside forces. That’s why we must maintain composure, to control our actions & responses to them. When external stimuli trigger us in a negative way, it’s important to take a second to process the situation before we act.
I was often seen as a ticking time bomb, my loved ones would worry about how I would receive even the most constructive criticism. My reactionary habits took a toll on not just my friendships, but relationships as well. I’d spend most of my time speaking, and I’d usually begin thinking of my response before my counterpart was done conveying their thoughts. This led me down a long, dark path with no light in sight. It took a few books and meditation sessions to really help me assess and correct the problem.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.”
― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
This quote is one that I now live by. I learned to take every moment with grace, to actually listen and not just hear. The first step was identifying my triggers, then I was able to nip them in the bud. It was a journey that didn’t conclude overnight, I had to work through it.
When you’re in a predicament that is unfavorable, take a moment to take in all of the details before you begin your assault. You’ll learn as I did, that friendly fire is just as deadly as hostile fire. You could have the purest intentions in the world, but if the delivery is off then it’ll always result in a misfire. Be deliberate with everything you say, including when you’re pissed. It’s easier said than done, but you now have the tools you need to succeed.
The hardest part is recognizing your shortcomings. Now go and apply yourself, the world deserves your uninhibited greatness!
