At this point, I’ve given you the run-around. I bet you’re wondering what the whole reason for all of this is, eh? Don’t fret, you’ve arrived at the final destination of this story.
I’ve quit smoking weed. There, I’ve said it.
I can’t say that it was difficult to quit, but being sober has been rough because I’ve had to work on being consistent with the habits that replaced smoking weed. To begin my journey, I’d have to tune my train of thought and get my mind back on track. The first day was the most difficult, but I knew there could be no arrival if I’d never left the station. I’d have to learn to cope without a crutch and to witness without reaction, to experience life as it happened. In addition, I needed to learn why I was so good at procrastinating and I was eager to learn the psychology behind it.
Beyond everything else, the hardest part was excepting that I needed help.
Being in a partnership with someone who holds me accountable is a double-edged sword. When he’s pretty much got his shit together but is also the most supportive person in the world, there’s not much room for my fuck ups. The gravity of knowing that he expects the world of me can be suffocating. He’s my angel, and not because he is “saving” me, but because he’s heaven-sent. I want to match his energy, rise to his level & conquer my demons. Yet the weight of my baggage would sometimes hinder my ascension.
A little baggage makes for a good case study later, but let’s not get carried away. I’m now in a headspace that provides clarity for thorough thinking. With this newfound inspiration I run five days a week, I’m writing every day, and learning how to live again. As I scale a mountain of previously ignored problems, and with every adversity I overcome, the pressure increases.
But pressure makes diamonds, baby.
